Stealing Thunder--CSIM/JAG

[jaglady]

Rating: G
Pairings: None
Comedy

When Rick Stetler steals Horatio's big chance to fly in an F14 fighter jet at the Memorial Day Air Show, Commander Harmon Rabb helps to exact justice and make Rick's flight one he and the crime lab will never forget.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or intellectual properties of CSI Miami or JAG. Though admittedly I do miss seeing men in uniform on a daily basis.

A/N: Originally written as a Memorial Day tribute, I would like to dedicate this work to our heroes in uniform and their families, past and present.
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Calling In Favors

Horatio walked into the Miami-Dade computer lab with his lips pursed and his eyes narrowed. Senior computer tech Emmalyn Stockburne could tell he was clearly upset about something.

“Hey, Sir. You okay? You don’t look too happy for someone who gets to go up in a fighter plane this weekend.”

Her boss took a deep breath. “WAS gonna go up in a fighter plane” he muttered. “I just found out that Rick decided to pull a few favors with the County. Now he’s the one who’s going up instead of me.”

“What?” Emmie folded her arms and shook her head. “That stinks! Tyler was all set to get footage of you and everything! We were gonna make a video of you getting ready and show it to the whole department.”

Horatio sighed. “That’s okay, Emmie. Go ahead and capture Rick in his big moment. It’s for the County, not for me.” There was no hiding the fact that Horatio was disappointed, though.

The United States Navy was collaborating with the Miami-Dade Police and Homestead Air Force Base to stage the big Salute to the Heroes Memorial Day Air Show in South Florida on Saturday. Emmie Stockburne knew some high-ranking officials in the Department of the Navy and was able to help arrange a special flight for one Miami-Dade police officer over the Atlantic Ocean in an F-14 Tomcat fighter jet. Everyone in the department knew that Horatio Caine would be the best choice for this honor. Besides, the Navy was more than happy to do this as a good will gesture. Somehow, though, it seemed like the natural course of things for IAB agent Rick Stetler to try to steal the spotlight.

“You gonna let him get away with that?” Tyler asked, also upset by what happened.

Emmie furiously clicked her keyboard, also upset by the turn of events. “You know, Tyler, I’ve been thinking. We can’t do anything about Rick going up instead of Horatio. But we can certainly help make it memorable, can’t we?”

Tyler raised his eyebrows. “You scare me, Emmie. What did you have in mind?”

A wicked smile crossed her face. “Have your camera ready for that day. Make sure you capture Rick getting outfitted for his flight. Make sure you get everything in detail. Make him look like something out of Top Gun.” She turned to him and framed her face with her hands. “And above all, make sure the Navy has that cockpit camera, complete with sound recorder.”

“And what are you gonna do?”

She smiled and picked up her phone. “I’m gonna make some calls.”


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Commander Harmon Rabb picked up his phone. “Commander Rabb.”

“Harm, you crooked lawyer! It’s Emmie Stockburne, your old Quantico liaison! How are you?”

A huge smile crossed his face. “Agent Stockburne! What’s it been?”

Emmie sighed. “That was a while ago. Hey Harm, I was hoping you could do me a huge favor. A little birdie told me you’re in charge of rostering the F-14 stunt pilots for the air show here in Homestead on Saturday. That true?”

“Yeah. A lot of pilots and commanders got deployed, so A.J. asked me to be in charge of it. So, you gonna be there when your boss goes up in the Tomcat?”

She hesitated. “Uh well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. You know politics.”

Harm smirked. “Yeah, Emmie. Mac and I still live in Washington.”

“Well, anyway, it ends up our Internal Affairs agent Rick Stetler pulled some favors, and Lieutenant Caine got pushed out of the spot. So it ends up Sergeant Stetler’s going up, and not my boss.”

Harm smirked. He had seen this sort of thing too often. “I see. So what can I do?”

“Well, you’re the one who rosters the pilots, right? I was just thinking that, since Sergeant Stetler really wants to be in the limelight that day, maybe you can make it worth his while. You see, he’s never been in a fighter plane and thinks it’s no big deal. Maybe you can get a pilot who will make this, uh, memorable for him, if you know what I mean.”

The JAG officer smiled and nodded. “Let me see what I can do. I see you’re still twisted and evil, Emmie.”

“Harm, you’re just saying that because it’s true. Thanks. This really means a lot to me.”


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Emmie sat with Horatio in his office as Commander Rabb called. Emmie put him on the speaker phone while Horatio closed his door, away from curious ears.

“Emmie? Lieutenant Caine? Sorry to keep you waiting. I think I can help Sergeant Stetler with his flight. We got a guy here who just came back from Iraq. He also used to fly with the Blue Angels, so you know he knows some good maneuvers. I used to be a fighter pilot myself, and to tell you the truth, this guy scares even me, and that’s saying something.”

“Sounds good so far, Commander” Horatio said, starting to feel better. “What’s his name?”

“He’s Lieutenant Gill Marshall. Call sign Widowmaker.”

Horatio smiled. “With a name like that I like him already.”

“I need to warn you, Lieutenant. Like I said, Widowmaker’s a little crazy, even for a fighter pilot. Guy knows every stunt and dogfighting maneuver in the book, and I think he even made up some. My colleagues saw him do a negative 2-G dive over the Persian Gulf. We didn’t think he’d recover. He must have missed the water by inches. Don’t forget now; negative-2G is twice the speed of a freefall. I bet he’d be glad to give Sergeant Stetler a day to remember.”

Emmie laughed. “Not JUST Rick Stetler. Are we gonna see you and Mac out there?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. You just have Sergeant Stetler report to the main office at Homestead, and we’ll take care of the rest.”

“Oh, uh, Harm? Just tell Widowmaker not to give him a heart attack, okay? I don’t think you want another investigation on your hands.”

Commander Rabb laughed. “We’ll handle it.”

“Thanks. See you Saturday morning.” With that Horatio clicked off the speaker.

[ladytaz29]

Love this story JL.. ;D

[jaglady]

Thanks, LadyTaz.

[csikt]

Hahaha great story!!!

[jaglady]

A/N: In military customs and courtesies (and also in law enforcement), the hand salute is considered the highest form of honor. Enlisted salute officers, and junior officers salute senior officers. The officer is required to return the salute (with some exceptions). Military vehicle stickers are of a special color for officers, so the gate guard is required to salute the sticker when the vehicle passes.

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Meeting Widowmaker

Emmie drove her Chevy Blazer up to the Homestead Air Force Base check point. Rick sat importantly in the front seat while Tyler rode in the back with the computer lab’s photography equipment ready to go.

She waited for the gate guards to check identification and then to check Rick and Tyler against the list of VIPs. Satisfied, the young uniformed Air Force security guard handed her back their ID cards. “Here you go Sir, Tyler” she said as Rick snatched his identification back. As they pulled through the gate the guard stood at attention and saluted. Emmie held up her hand in acknowledgement. As an officer’s widow, she never felt right to salute back.

“There! See that? He saluted me!” Rick insisted. “He knew who I was!”

Emmie snorted. “They saluted my sticker, Sir. I’m the widow of a Lieutenant Commander. That gate guard doesn’t know you from Adam. The only reason I’m driving you is because I have the military sticker.”

Rick paid no attention. “Do you know where you’re going? I don’t want to be late.”

She sighed. “I shop here once a month. I think it’s safe to say I know my way around.”

Emmie pulled up to the main aviation office where Harm and Mac sipped coffee and chatted while they stood outside the main entrance. She stepped out of her Blazer and immediately walked up the steps to hug her old friends.

“Harm! Mac! God, it’s great to see you again! How was your trip down here?”

“Emmie Stockburne? I see you’re still playing with computers” Mac said. She motioned toward Rick as he stepped out, never offering to help Tyler who struggled with the camera equipment. “So is this our guest of honor?” she noted as Harm shook hands with Rick and Tyler. She pointed out toward the airfield. “Oh, we got to travel first class” she said with a huge smile.

Rick’s and Tyler’s eyes widened as they gazed at the row of shiny F14 Tomcats. Off further in the distance sat an array of helicopters and cargo planes, all ready to be viewed by the public.

“This is Sergeant Stetler. He’s our Internal Affairs agent. He’ll be going up with, uh, Widowmaker. Tyler Jensen is the department’s AV expert. He’s here to get pictures.”

Rick raised his eyebrows. “Widowmaker?”

Harm smiled. “Relax. It’s just his call sign. Well Sergeant—“

“Call me Rick.”

“Uh, Rick, if you’ll follow me you’re gonna have to get checked out for your preflight screening.”

Rick sniffed. “I’m sure everything will be all right.”

“Tyler, you get to go with them. Somebody gets to preserve this for the department” Emmie said with a slight grin. Apparently Rick had no idea what he would be up against.

Tyler looked at her reproachfully. “Why me?”

“I’m not allowed in the men’s locker room. And even if I was, well, there are some things I just don’t want to know.”


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Tyler held the video camera just feet away from Rick, who now had a totally different attitude. He was tired, humiliated, and snappish. It didn’t help matters any that he was now wearing only his boxers and being poked and prodded by a flight surgeon. He glared at Tyler. “Enjoying this, Tyler?” he growled.

The AV tech looked at him dryly. “Not really, Rick.”

The Navy flight surgeon, a paunchy, middle-aged Commander in his Navy whites, his hair graying, measured Rick’s blood pressure and then listened to his heart and breathing.

“I’m not enlisting for flight school” Rick said impatiently.

“No, but we have to make sure you’re not gonna have a heart attack or pass out up there” the doctor said firmly. “It makes us look bad. You’re Internal Affairs, so you should know all about that.”

Tyler was sure to get Rick’s horrified expression as the flight surgeon measured his arms and legs with a tape measure. “What’s this for?”

“We have to make sure you’ll fit into the flight gear and into the cockpit. Not much room for error.”

Rick now stared daggers at Tyler. “Are you gonna get EVERYTHING on tape?”

Tyler shrugged. “Hey, I stepped out of the room when he told you to cough, didn’t I?”


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Emmie stood outside of the front entrance with Harm and Mac, occasionally stepping back every time an enlisted officer saluted them.

Just then a huge man in a blue Navy flight suit stepped out of the building. His jet black hair was almost completely shaven off. He had steely gray eyes and looked like he could have picked up one of those fighter jets with one arm. His features were certainly battle-hardened. He strode confidently out to the step, stood smartly at attention, and saluted Mac, who promptly returned his salute. He then leaned back on the railing and glanced around, totally unimpressed by his surroundings. “Morning Ma’am. All ready for the air show this afternoon?” he asked.

Mac motioned toward Emmie. “Emmie? Meet Lieutenant Marshall. Call sign Widowmaker” Mac said proudly. “He’ll be flying Rick this afternoon.”

The burly Lieutenant raised his eyebrows and shook hands with her. “Ma’am.”

Emmie’s eyes widened from his viselike grip. “Nice to meet you, Sir.”

“Likewise.”

“Lieutenant, Emmie brought Sergeant Stetler up here. He’s getting his preflight screening right now. He’s the police officer who’s gonna be riding with you this afternoon.”

The Lieutenant raised one eyebrow and motioned back toward the building with his eyes. “Oh yeah. I saw him. Tall skinny guy who looks like Chewbacca? He’s not scoring any points with the med staff in there, I can tell you.”

Emmie snorted. “I work for the guy, Sir. I know what you’re talking about.”

Widowmaker smirked. “Internal Affairs. Figures. I’d say what I think, but you look like a nice lady.”

Emmie giggled. “I’ve probably heard it already. So Widowmaker, you think you can take the sergeant on the ride of his life?”

Widowmaker folded his arms and smiled slyly. “Yeah. Harm told me what was going on. It’ll be my pleasure. Don’t worry. You guys’ll love it.”

“Think you can do it without killing him?”

The burly pilot narrowed his eyes at the door. “Long as he doesn’t puke in my jet, I promise I won’t kill him. Deal?’

She smiled. “Deal.”

[ladytaz29]

I think widowmaker is loving this just as much as we are.. ;D

[suzmicsoc]

Hahaha...I love this JL...can't wait to see how Rick handles the flight. ;D

[jaglady]

Thanks, everybody.
I should probably explain something. It's pretty common to get sick on those flights. Under the best of circumstances, the body just isn't made to handle the kind of stresses that come with those hard takeoffs, rolls, dives and landings. As graphic as it sounds, many of those pilots will just take a black bag with them, do their thing when they feel sick, and then just go on flying.
Some years ago my husband rode on a "nape of the earth" flight (following the contour of the mountains to avoid getting shot down) in a Blackhawk helicopter. He said his insides felt like a pretzel.
Next chapter tomorrow. Glad you're enjoying.

[ladytaz29]

We also loved your "Christmas Special"...Thank you very much..

[jaglady]

Finally Cool

Horatio, Frank, Delko, Calleigh, Natalia, Ryan, and the staff at the Miami-Dade Crime Lab, as well as any Miami-Dade police officers, enjoyed front row seats in the shaded bleachers at the Homestead Airfield. The overhead shade in the VIP section was certainly welcome in the Memorial Day sun.

Emmie stood in the doorway of the hangar and chatted with Mac when they noticed Harm escorting a very proud but worked-over Rick Stetler to the doorway. Admittedly he cut a striking figure in the dark green flight suit, complete with Navy aviation patch on his left shoulder, carrying the personalized red-and-white flight helmet that the Navy had designed for this occasion. As soon as Rick saw Emmie and Mac, that lofty smile of his reappeared.

“Ladies” he said, very proud of himself once again, knowing full well he had their attention.

“Sergeant Stetler. You look like you’re ready for this” Mac observed, raising her eyebrows.

Emmie shrugged and shook her head with a smile. “Well Sir, much as I hate to admit, I almost feel like I should salute you. You look fantastic.”

Harm leaned over to Mac and Emmie. “The sergeant almost didn’t survive the preflight physical” he whispered. “I thought the doctor was gonna kill him first.”

Out on the airfield a voice boomed over the public address system.

“Ladies and gentlemen. Can we have your attention, please. The United States Navy and Air Force, in a gesture of good will to the Miami-Dade Police Department have chosen one police officer to fly on one of the Navy’s world-famous F14 Tomcat fighter jets. The F14 Tomcat is the U.S. Navy’s superior jet fighter and is capable of traveling at 7G’s at Mach 2. That’s twice the speed of sound and seven times the force of gravity. As a tribute to Miami’s Finest we have one F14 that will be flown by Lieutenant Gill Marshall. Lieutenant Marshall has done two combat tours in the Persian Gulf and has also flown with the Blue Angels.”

A hush fell over the crowd as a freshly-shined, freshly painted F14 slowly taxied up the runway close to the grandstand, closer to the main building, its jets glowing on each side. The cockpit hatch slowly opened. On each side of the cockpit seating, Widowmaker and Sergeant Stetler had been stenciled on the front and back, respectively.

Rick stood proudly in the doorway next to Harm fingering the collar of his green flight suit and carrying the red and white flight helmet that said Rick on the front. This was it. This was going to be his defining moment. Never again was anyone in that lab going to make fun of him. He was finally cool. He was going to ride with the big boys this time. Horatio was going to respect him now. The ladies would swoon over him. Even Emmie noticed him this time. He knew she still had that thing for a man in uniform.

“Ready to do this, Sergeant?” Harm said with a smile, patting the IAB agent on the back.

“I was born ready” Rick assured him with that confident grin of his. “Let’s go.”

“Now ladies and gentlemen, we’d like to direct your attention to our honored police officer of the day, Sergeant Rick Stetler” the announcer said. “Now, walking out with Navy Commander Harmon Rabb, please Sergeant Stetler a heroes’ welcome, ladies and gentlemen!”

The tall, skinny figure in a dark green flight suit accompanied the figure in Navy whites through the rippling air, across the hot pavement towards the fighter jet. As he passed the front of the VIP stand, Rick couldn’t help but look right at Horatio's sunglasses and sniff with contempt as he continued his walk of fame. Tyler stood by, well away from the engines, videotaping the entire experience in the rippling heat.

Miami news reporter Erica Sykes eagerly walked beside Rick and Harm on the black tarmac, camera crew in tow, trying to be the first to capture the County’s shining moment, repeatedly elbowing Tyler out of the way.

“Hey!” he yelled.

“Move, lab rat!” she snapped. “Find your own story!”

Satisfied that she was in a good position, Erica Sykes turned toward the camera. “Okay. Roll tape.”

“This is TV news reporter Erica Sykes, and I’m here at the Homestead Airfield. Coming out now is Commander Harmon Rabb with the United States Navy as he gets to escort Sergeant Stetler with the Miami-Dade Internal Affairs Office.” She sidled up to Harm as the news camera followed her. “Sergeant, this has to be a very proud day for you and the Miami-Dade Police Department. Do you have anything to say to our audience at CVS before you go up?”

Rick proudly fingered the collar of his flight suit again as he smiled. “Well, I hate to brag. But something like this has been a long time in coming for me and for the Miami-Dade Crime Lab. And make sure you get a good shot of us taking off, okay?” Harm smirked as he guided him a little more forcefully toward the waiting fighter.

Erica Sykes just stared at him before she turned back to the camera. “We’re here live as Sergeant Stetler makes his way up into the F14 Tomcat. They’re strapping him now. I think they’ll be taking off in a few seconds.”

As he went up the ladder and into his seat in the cockpit, the IAB agent’s energy rose as visions of Top Gun went through his mind. Two green-suited members of the flight crew strapped him in securely, attached his breathing apparatus and secured his personalized helmet.

“Wow, these seats are comfortable” he noted as the flight crew finished making sure everything was on him properly.

“Can you hear me okay, Sergeant?” Widowmaker said in a normal voice over his radio speaker. “If you can, just give me the thumbs-up.”

He responded by putting up his left gloved thumb. Finally cool.

“Just one thing, Sergeant. You’ll find a couple of plastic bags on the seat next to you. If you feel like you’re gonna puke, just grab one, open your helmet and let it fly. Try not to puke in your air mask, because if you do, you’ll suffocate. I don’t want to have to come back early. And whatever you do, don’t puke in my jet, okay?” Widowmaker said nonchalantly over the radio.

Rick snorted. “I can handle this. I used to love rollercoasters when I was a kid. Never got sick on one.”

A maniacal grin crossed Widowmaker’s face. “Well then, you’re gonna love this even more.”

Adrenaline shot through Rick as the cockpit hatch slowly closed. The only noise was Widowmaker’s voice on the radio.

“Give them the thumbs-up to let them know you’re ready, Sergeant” the weathered pilot instructed.

Though he knew nobody could see his face, Rick smiled as he gave a thumbs-up. Tyler snapped his picture while Erica Sykes kept trying to crowd him out, the better for her shot.

He couldn’t help but freeze as the jet’s engines roared to life, causing his teeth to vibrate.

“Are you ready Sergeant?” Widowmaker nearly hollered, his voice sounding almost maniacal at this point.

“Let’s go!” Rick said confidently. “Show me what this thing can do!”

The F14’s engines crescendoed to a deafening roar as the jets burned white hot, the air rippling furiously behind them. As the traffic controller ducked down and dropped the flag, giving the signal for takeoff, the jet shot forward on the runway at a blinding and deafening pitch, shaking the ground as Widowmaker pulled back on the accelerator, flying down the runway, into the air, and out of sight within seconds.

“How do you think he’ll stand up against Widowmaker?” Mac asked Emmie.

“I just hope they have that cockpit recorder ready” the computer tech said with a smile.