Post by mirium on Sept 7, 2009 15:44:47 GMT -5
Here in the US, Our Only President is planning to speechify at as many K-through-12 persons as possible tomorrow. It occurred to me that some of our members have never experienced this, and might be wondering about the protocol.
Many of the adults in your school will be overly excited and trying to hide that fact, with varying degrees of success. They will hold conversations that include incisive hand gestures and will suddenly stop talking just as you get close enough to hear what they're saying. Do not feel disappointed. They are debating which aspects of the situation (the speech itself, the decision to show it/not show it to you, the principal's announcement of that decision, the arrangements for showing/ignoring it, parents' reactions) have been the most incompetently handled. This is a futile and somewhat boring discussion. All aspects have been incompetently handled.
School staff and/or other teachers will interrupt at least one of your classes, looking frazzled and demanding to speak with your teacher immediately about the arrangements for showing/ignoring the speech. This will successfully disrupt all attempts to teach you anything during that hour, and possibly during the entire day. Because of this disruption, your teachers will have to rewrite their syllabi for the rest of the semester. If the new syllabus has the original exam dates, complain that you don't have time to learn the material in the shorter time. If the exam dates change, complain that you're confused about what you're supposed to study when.
The Old Guy will forget that he is supposed to release you to listen to the speech or will forget that he is supposed to ignore the speech. Every school has an Old Guy; he's the teacher who's old enough to be the principal's grandfather. He usually teaches English, History or Social Studies. He has taught the same course, exactly the same way, for decades and he adapts to special events like this by doing exactly what he has done on Day X of the semester for decades -- teach the lesson plan for that day. If your school has chosen to show you the speech, remind him to turn on the A/V or let you go to the Auditorium. He will be confused and outraged. Turn on the A/V yourself, go to the classroom next door to watch it, or go to the Auditorium anyway; by tomorrow, he will have forgotten all about it. If your school has chosen to ignore it, ask him about it. If he is a Nice Old Guy, he will spend the rest of the class period telling you about times when the President Spoke To The Country when he was young. If he is a Mean Old Guy, he will spend the rest of the class period telling you about times when the %&($* President Spoke To The Country when he was young. At some point, he will refer to the President by name and you will realize he hasn't paid attention to election results in quite a while. (Our Old Guy thought Eisenhower was still in office.)
If your school has chosen to show you the speech, there will be Technical Difficulties. In my day, either the film broke or the projector bulb blew out and there was no replacement bulb on the cart. We hoped that the film would catch just as the President was saying something encouraging, so he'd be frozen with a hopeful look on his face as the picture burned up like the opening credits in "Bonanza." Your Technical Difficulties will probably have to do with The Connection. If you spend this time speaking normally to your friends, the adults will sternly remind you that you are taking part in a(n) Historic Event. If you speak quietly and keep a solemn look on your face, you will be able to discuss your plans to meet at the mall later, your latest clothing purchase, your favorite band and/or someone's romantic options without interruption.
"We have been going through a troubling/historic/dangerous time. Our Great Country has gone through troubling/historic/dangerous times before, as you know from your History classes. Thanks to the moral strength/courage/hard work of our forebears, we have always come through these times stronger than before, and we shall do so again. Study hard, and pay attention to your teachers." This is the speech that Our Only President will give. This is the speech that The President gave when I was a kid. This is the only speech that any President will ever give to students.
I hope that you will find this Primer useful. Respectfully yours,
M.
Many of the adults in your school will be overly excited and trying to hide that fact, with varying degrees of success. They will hold conversations that include incisive hand gestures and will suddenly stop talking just as you get close enough to hear what they're saying. Do not feel disappointed. They are debating which aspects of the situation (the speech itself, the decision to show it/not show it to you, the principal's announcement of that decision, the arrangements for showing/ignoring it, parents' reactions) have been the most incompetently handled. This is a futile and somewhat boring discussion. All aspects have been incompetently handled.
School staff and/or other teachers will interrupt at least one of your classes, looking frazzled and demanding to speak with your teacher immediately about the arrangements for showing/ignoring the speech. This will successfully disrupt all attempts to teach you anything during that hour, and possibly during the entire day. Because of this disruption, your teachers will have to rewrite their syllabi for the rest of the semester. If the new syllabus has the original exam dates, complain that you don't have time to learn the material in the shorter time. If the exam dates change, complain that you're confused about what you're supposed to study when.
The Old Guy will forget that he is supposed to release you to listen to the speech or will forget that he is supposed to ignore the speech. Every school has an Old Guy; he's the teacher who's old enough to be the principal's grandfather. He usually teaches English, History or Social Studies. He has taught the same course, exactly the same way, for decades and he adapts to special events like this by doing exactly what he has done on Day X of the semester for decades -- teach the lesson plan for that day. If your school has chosen to show you the speech, remind him to turn on the A/V or let you go to the Auditorium. He will be confused and outraged. Turn on the A/V yourself, go to the classroom next door to watch it, or go to the Auditorium anyway; by tomorrow, he will have forgotten all about it. If your school has chosen to ignore it, ask him about it. If he is a Nice Old Guy, he will spend the rest of the class period telling you about times when the President Spoke To The Country when he was young. If he is a Mean Old Guy, he will spend the rest of the class period telling you about times when the %&($* President Spoke To The Country when he was young. At some point, he will refer to the President by name and you will realize he hasn't paid attention to election results in quite a while. (Our Old Guy thought Eisenhower was still in office.)
If your school has chosen to show you the speech, there will be Technical Difficulties. In my day, either the film broke or the projector bulb blew out and there was no replacement bulb on the cart. We hoped that the film would catch just as the President was saying something encouraging, so he'd be frozen with a hopeful look on his face as the picture burned up like the opening credits in "Bonanza." Your Technical Difficulties will probably have to do with The Connection. If you spend this time speaking normally to your friends, the adults will sternly remind you that you are taking part in a(n) Historic Event. If you speak quietly and keep a solemn look on your face, you will be able to discuss your plans to meet at the mall later, your latest clothing purchase, your favorite band and/or someone's romantic options without interruption.
"We have been going through a troubling/historic/dangerous time. Our Great Country has gone through troubling/historic/dangerous times before, as you know from your History classes. Thanks to the moral strength/courage/hard work of our forebears, we have always come through these times stronger than before, and we shall do so again. Study hard, and pay attention to your teachers." This is the speech that Our Only President will give. This is the speech that The President gave when I was a kid. This is the only speech that any President will ever give to students.
I hope that you will find this Primer useful. Respectfully yours,
M.
But I wonder if at my school we would have watched the speech... we did watch the Inugaration.. (totally slaughtered that spelling)
