babs
Academy Graduate
Creator of the CSI: Miami Manwhores Club =)
Posts: 245
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Post by babs on Mar 14, 2009 16:08:41 GMT -5
Oh god. I read the second sentence, got to the word "intern", remembered, and burst out laughing!
Poor intern. Poor, poor intern.
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Post by jaglady on Mar 21, 2009 17:34:02 GMT -5
Here you go. Based on an incident that actually happened in my office this week. As promised.... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Warm Fuzzies
There's a mouse on the loose in the Miami-Dade Crime Lab. An annoyed Rick Stetler says it's just a mouse and couldn't possibly hurt anyone, right?
Senior Computer Tech Emmie Stockburne cupped her hands and blew into them as she stepped into the computer lab and set down her toolcase. “Morning, Tyler. God, it’s cold out there. Why don’t they put heaters in these buildings?”
Tyler sniffed as he looked up from his workstation. “Because it never gets cold in Florida. Supposedly.”
“Yeah, well, it’s near freezing this morning.” The computer tech briskly rubbed her arms as she waited for the main computer system to come up for the day. “Got a couple of cases for Horatio this morning. But first I have to go up to IAB. I fixed Rick’s laptop and got him his new docking station.”
“Is that the one he dropped in the break room yesterday?”
Emmie shook her head. “Yeah. And he better not drop it again. I spent most of yesterday fixing this thing and reloading it.”
As the main monitor came to life, she noticed some shrieking and scrambling in the blue hallway. Labcoated techs dropped case files and darted to either side, shrieking and watching the floor.
“Oh my God!”
“Ewwwww! It’s a mouse!”
“Where’d it go?”
“Anybody see it?”
Emmie craned her neck to look. “What’s going on out there?”
“Oh, we got a mouse running around” Tyler said to his monitor matter-of-factly. “They get inside the building when it gets cold like this.”
“Great. I hope it didn’t chew any wires.”
“Don’t think so. But Maxine Valera knocked over a spectrometer when it jumped on her labcoat. It ran into Ballistics, and Calleigh almost shot it. Now Tripp and Delko are running around trying to catch it before it does any more damage.”
IAB agent Rick Stetler appeared at the doorway, oblivious to the panic in the blue hallway. Emmie glanced up at him and then scanned the floor. “Can I help you, Sir?”
Rick glanced at his watch impatiently and then at Emmie. “Been waiting for my laptop, Miss Stockburne. Got an investigation this morning. How soon can I expect it?”
She rubbed her arms and scanned the floor. “I’ll be up there as soon as I can, Sir. Sounds like we got a mouse problem.”
The IAB agent scowled out at the chaos in the hallway. “Gimme a break! A mouse isn’t gonna hurt anything! I don’t know what everybody’s so scared of!”
“No, but they do chew on computer wires, and you know what that means.” Her eyes still watching the floor, she groped for the black computer bag and held it up. “See? Got your laptop and your docking station right here. Unless you want to take it upstairs and plug it in yourself.”
“No, that’s what the County hired you for” he huffed.
“Of course, Sir. I’ll take care of it” she said deliberately as he walked out.
Warily Emmie settled back down, mindful of where she put her feet now. “Hey, Tyler? Do me a favor and watch the floor. I don’t need that thing getting in here. Though Rick’s probably right. It’s just a mouse.”
Just then something brown darted into her field of vision. Reflexively she pushed back, nearly falling backward in her chair. “Eww!” She kept her distance as the furry critter zipped across her desk, fell to the floor and scrambled away.
“What are you so scared of, Emmie? It’s just a mouse” Tyler said with a grin.
The cybertech gathered herself and straightened up her lab coat. “Yeah, very funny. It startled me.” But Tyler gave her a knowing look.
An out-of-breath Delko peeked into the computer lab. “Hey! You guys see that mouse run in here?”
“Yeah! It just ran across my desk and over there!” She pointed toward the corner. “I don’t see it.”
“It’s in the computer lab, Tripp!” he yelled down the hallway. “Well why didn’t you catch it?”
Emmie sneered. “I’m not touching it!”
Without another word, Delko walked in and glanced around in the corner. He didn’t say that those lab techs who dealt with blood, guts, guns, garbage and vermin every single day now ran for their lives when seeing a mouse—a living one at that.
Emmie wrinkled her nose and stood back while the black-haired CSI roll up his sleeve and reached behind a work table. “Yeah, there he is. I see him. Gotcha! You’re not getting away this time!” He then stood up, holding out his trophy—a wide-eyed, terrified little brown mouse that flailed at the air as he held it by the tail. “There he is.” He held it just inches from Emmie’s face. “Isn’t he cute?”
Emmie held up her hand and shrank back from him. “Eric, get that thing out of my face!”
“What are you scared of? He’s not gonna hurt you” he said with that boyish grin.
“Yeah? Why don’t you take him home with you?”
“Nah, better not. Cal almost shot him.”
“Well then put him in the IAB office. Rick Stetler probably needs a friend.”
The CSI grinned like he liked the idea. “Nah, I’ll just take him outside.”
A crowd of labcoated techs stood at the doorway and applauded as Delko proudly walked out with his dangling, flailing prey. “Eric got him!” Calleigh called down the hallway.
“Great! Tell Maxine she can come out of the ladies’ room now!”
“Speaking of Rick Stetler’s desk, I guess I better go put that stuff in and wire it. God forbid he should have to wait.”
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Emmie’s green eyes darted between the brown case file and the main monitor when she noticed a presence behind her.
“Miss Stockburne? A word?”
Horatio stood behind her expectantly, hands on hips, looking rather annoyed. She immediately put down the case file. “Oh, hey Sir. Everything okay?”
He sighed. “That mouse Delko caught this morning. Any idea how it got into IAB?”
She raised her eyebrows. “No, Sir. I thought Delko put it outside. Why?”
“Well, I was with Rick in his office discussing an investigation when that mouse climbed up his pants leg. He fell over and hit his head. Unfortunately, he knocked over his laptop again. We need you to fix it.”
Emmie groaned and leaned on her hand. “Oh, God. How bad is it? The computer, I mean.”
The Lieutenant nodded with an understanding smile. “I think he did to his computer what Miss Valera did to the spectrometer. Frankly, between you and me, I didn’t know he could scream like that.”
“And what about the mouse?”
“I caught it and put it outside. It won’t be coming back in this time.”
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Toolcase in hand, Emmie peered into the IAB office. “Okay to come in, Sir?”
The furious IAB agent cradled his throbbing forehead as he gathered up scattered papers and file folders. “Come on in, Miss Stockburne!” he snarled. “I need you to fix my laptop. Now, please.”
A closer look showed that the silver laptop had sailed halfway across the office and landed in several pieces on the floor. The new docking station had been ripped from its foundation and now danged from wires just inches from the floor. Emmie closed her eyes. This was going to be another all-day job.
Emmie noticed the red spot on Rick’s forehead as he angrily shuffled papers. He glared at her. “Problem?”
She shrugged. “Uh, no Sir. Just that this is probably gonna take a few hours, and it’ll have to wait until Lieutenant Caine’s work is done.”
His brown eyes blazed at her. “The Chief wants this on his desk tomorrow!” he protested.
“Well, I’d be happy to email the Chief and let him know you smashed your laptop for the third time when a mouse scared you. And you’d have his report ready, but you didn’t bother to back it up.”
Rick softened his look as he massaged the red spot on his forehead. “No, that’s okay. Just get it fixed.”
She nodded with a tight smile as she knelt down beside him and picked up scattered computer parts. “I thought you’d understand, Sir.”
The angry, disheveled IAB agent was still cursing under his breath as he gathered up and sorted the torn, scattered papers. As Emmie packed the last of the computer carnage into her toolcase and turned to go, she smiled. She couldn’t resist.
“Just keep telling yourself, Sir. It’s a mouse. They don’t hurt anything.” And with that she left.
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cutecollege1
Rookie Officer
If you can't beat 'em, shoot 'em!!!
Posts: 311
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Post by cutecollege1 on Mar 22, 2009 1:02:40 GMT -5
LOL!!!! Good job jaglady!!! If it helps, we also have mice problems at my job. Matter of fact, I got a mouse trap sitting right next to my desk. Fortunately, I have not yet to experience bending over and seeing it. Why we have mice, I dunno, but most likely explanation is it's a really old building. Anyways good job and looking forward to more!!! CC
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Post by jaglady on Mar 22, 2009 8:15:17 GMT -5
Thanks, CC. Our building is about 15 years old, I think. Lots of critter issues. Last year the whole building smelled like something died because a possum got stuck in the AC unit. Half the call center had to be moved downstairs because the smell was just too overpowering. I can tell you this, though. If people are dropping food on the floor (Cheerios, cookie crumbs, etc) and mice are getting in, that's probably what they're after. The one that ran through my area had a Cheerio in its mouth, but dropped it when everybody freaked out. That thing was pretty brazen, too. It climbed up a cube wall (I'm told). It actually ran RIGHT BETWEEN MY FEET and under the cube wall, probably to another office. We now have to keep all our food in resealable hard plastic or glass containers. They can climb, so it doesn't matter whether stuff is on the floor or not. I can also say the building is in a wooded area. We've had mice, possums, deer, squirrels, and raccoons that I know of. Coming to work, I've almost hit a deer twice. One of the guys finally did catch it and release it out in a wooded area. Hopefully one of the hawks had a free lunch. Facilities put out sticky traps, and I guess they've caught more mice. Thankfully not under my desk.
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