ladytaz29
Rookie Officer
Caution..Must wear flame retardent materials..
Posts: 377
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Post by ladytaz29 on Jan 29, 2009 18:57:09 GMT -5
Twiiiiiiiiissssstttttiiiiinnnngggggg.....
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Post by jaglady on Jan 29, 2009 20:15:26 GMT -5
HEHEHEHEHE!! Well, I'm usually the one who says, "If you want something, just ASK FOR IT!!
A/N: I decided to write this to take place shortly after "Cold Rain" and put my OC on crutches. At the time I wrote this, I myself was nursing an injured left leg (torn hamstring) and know what a headache it can be to deal with this sort of thing when I can barely walk.
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Improper Ventilation
Horatio was engrossed in another case file when he heard a funny-sounding tap on his office door. He looked up, startled slightly.
Senior computer tech Emmalyn Stockburne stood in the doorway, tapping with the end of her aluminum crutch. She was still on her crutches after the two of them had been in a horrific wreck recently. Now she stood perched on her crutches with a black bag slung over one shoulder and an annoyed look on her face.
“Miss Stockburne? Come on in. Shouldn’t you be giving that leg a rest?” Horatio said, fingering the case file.
Emmie made her way in, shoulder bag slapping her. “Actually Sir, I can use the exercise.” She stood over his desk and sighed, propping herself forward. “Sir, I’m not trying to cause trouble, and you know I don’t usually like to bother you with things like this, but—“
Her boss sat back in his chair expectantly. “What did he wreck this time?”
“This has gotten too predictable for you, hasn’t it? Actually, if this keeps up, Internal Affairs is gonna wreck my department’s budget!”
Horatio smiled at her knowingly. “It’s like you always say about Rick Stetler. You can’t believe they let him handle firearms, right?”
Emmie balanced herself and rummaged into her shoulder bag. “Maybe you should tag this one as evidence, Sir. Criminal stupidity.”
She carefully pulled out a silver laptop and placed it upside down on his desk. He looked at it, not sure what to say.
The Lieutenant was dumbfounded to see six holes drilled clean through the bottom. Emmie then flipped it over and popped open the latch to let him examine the damage. He shook his head. “Okay Miss Stockburne. What happened this time? Please sit down.”
She adjusted her crutches to ease back into the chair behind her. “Tyler got the call from Rick this morning. He complained that he had made a few, uh, adjustments to the laptop we issued him, but then he couldn’t boot it up.”
Horatio leaned forward and raised his eyebrows.
“It gets better, Sir. When Tyler asked about the holes drilled in the bottom, Rick said when he put the, uh, laptop on his lap for long periods of time it made his legs sweat, so he had this done for ventilation. Now he’s blowing a gasket at me because it won’t work, and he can’t get the info off the hard drive. Looking at where he drilled the holes, I’m not sure I’ll be able to either. Maybe I can rebuild this thing, I don’t know. Otherwise you’re staring at a three-thousand-dollar paperweight.”
Horatio sighed. “Leave that on my desk. I’ll take care of it.”
Emmie rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Sir. I’m just trying to leave us money for important stuff. You know, like solving cases and things?”
“I understand.”
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The next morning Emmie and Tyler were looking over case files that Trace had brought over when the phone chirped. Tyler swung over and answered it. Emmie watched him.
Tyler looked at Emmie, not sure what to say or do. After more than a year in the Miami-Dade computer lab, she could read Tyler like a book.
“What’s going on, Tyler?” Emmie said, her crutches at the ready.
He handed the phone to her. “Here, Emmie. See if you can handle this one.”
With wary eyes she accepted the phone from him. “Emmie Stockburne.” She listened for a minute. “Okay Sir, calm down. I can barely understand you. You don’t have to scream at me.” Emmie rolled her eyes and sighed. “Let me get up there, Sir. It’ll be a minute or two. Nice of you to remind me.” She handed the phone back to Tyler, who turned around and hung it up.
“Tyler, I didn’t know how much I’d missed all those pain killers until now.”
Instead of the stairs, Emmie figured she’d best take the elevator up to the management offices. After all, in his fit of anger, Rick was nice enough to remind her that it existed for that purpose. Shoulder bag slung, crutches under arms, she made her way to the elevator and over to Rick’s office.
“Okay Sir, what’s going on?” she sighed.
Rick Stetler was sitting in the extra chair in his office, obviously still fuming from his recent discovery. His desk chair sat off to the side, looking as though it might have been thrown. He looked at her with those angry eyes.
“Any ideas, Miss Stockburne?”
She furrowed her eyebrows. “I'm sorry?”
He pointed to his regular desk chair. She hobbled up to examine it. In the seat of the chair was Rick’s “ventilated” laptop. She reached out with one of her crutches to nudge it. It wouldn’t move.
“I know I’m gonna regret this, Sir, but what happened?” she asked warily.
Rick stormed over and flipped the desk chair onto its back. “THAT’S what happened. I guess you’re enjoying this?”
On the chair's black underside she saw six silver bolts where the "ventilation" holes had been drilled. After two seconds, Emmie couldn’t help it. She closed her eyes and started to laugh, balancing herself.
Rick was getting angrier by the minute. “And when you’re done yucking it up, I need you to fix my chair, please!”
Emmie wiped a tear from her eye. “With all due respect Sir, I can’t fix this. Your chair is a Facilities call. Which means you get to pick up the phone again and call somebody to come up and take care of your chair” she said between laughs. “Oh, and please make sure they save that laptop, because I’m gonna have to rebuild it. That’s if you didn’t damage too much of it with your ‘ventilation’ system.'” She turned to hobble out.
“This isn’t funny” Rick growled after her.
She pivoted around and looked at him. “Actually, it is. Call me when Facilities pries that thing loose, okay?”
As Emmie carefully made her way back to the elevator doors, Horatio walked out behind her.
“Rick’s chair. You?” she wanted to know.
Horatio leaned toward her. “You’re not the only one who knows people, Miss Stockburne” he whispered back.
A fresh wave of laughter came over her as the elevator doors parted and Horatio held his arm out for her to walk in.
“Thanks for the laugh, Sir.”
Horatio donned his sunglasses. “I guess you could say IAB justice met Miami justice.”
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Post by suzmicsoc on Jan 29, 2009 21:04:39 GMT -5
I love the ones where Horatio gets involved with getting Rick too...lol
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Post by jaglady on Jan 30, 2009 6:01:17 GMT -5
Thanks, Suzy. Yep, I think that's what I miss most about this season--watching H put the Rickster in his place (while I gaze at that mole, of course!)
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Post by jaglady on Feb 1, 2009 16:53:55 GMT -5
Just taking being proactive and preventing that arm twist ;D Thanks to all of you for your kind comments. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Putting on Airs
When the air conditioning gets stuck in the crime lab, a strange warming effect takes place.
Senior computer tech Emmalyn Stockburne was deep into a surveillance case for Calleigh when she suddenly became aware that it was awfully cold in the Miami-Dade Crime Lab. She began to shiver and had to bite her tongue to keep her teeth from chattering. She glanced around and noticed that Tyler was looking around and rubbing his arms as well.
“Tyler, is it me or is it cold in here?” she asked, now starting to huddle back in her chair.
Tyler grasped his fingers to keep them warm. “No, it’s freezing in here. I think the whole crime lab is cold! The AC’s stuck or something.”
The cold started to really seep into her system by now. “Yeesh! I know I’m going through the change, but give me a break” she muttered.
In fact the two of them now noticed that more and more labcoat-clad techs and CSIs shivered and rubbed their arms as they walked through the halls.
Eric Delko walked by, also holding his arms.
“Hey, Eric! Any idea what’s up with the air in here?” Emmie yelled to him.
Delko stopped and shook his head. “Don’t know, Emmie. But the whole building’s freezing! Natalia said the AC’s stuck, and they have to get a crew out here to fix it. Could be hours.”
“Great. Thanks.”
Just then IAB sergeant Rick Stetler appeared at the door of the computer lab, hands on hips, obviously annoyed.
“Miss Stockburne, I followed your advice, but nothing’s happening as usual. How about you come fix my computer?”
Emmie rolled her eyes. Oh God, not again!
“Sir, my brain’s frozen. Please remind me; what’s going on with your computer again?”
Rick huffed, also huddling under the cold air. “I did what you said. You told me to turn down the AC. I did that, and nothing happened. So I turned it down some more. Nothing. Now it’s freezing in here, and my computer’s still not working.”
She looked skyward. “Okay Sir. I know I’m gonna regret asking. What does the air conditioning have to do with your computer?”
“You said to use the ‘air control.’ I did that. Now are you gonna come look at the problem?”
The computer tech buried her face in her hands. “Uh, Rick, I said ERROR CONTROL. ERROR! E-R-R-O-R! Are you telling me YOU turned up the air conditioning in here?”
“I did exactly what you said!” Rick insisted, trying to keep his patience.
She just shook her head.
Just then, Calleigh walked past the computer lab with Eric following closely behind her.
“Aw, come on, Calleigh. Why don’t you let me warm you up?” Eric said, giving her that boyish grin.
“In your dreams, Eric!” she shot back.
Rick's brown eyes blazed as he darted out behind them. “Hey Delko! Calleigh! What did I tell you about fraternization?”
Emmie sighed. “Thank God. That gets him out of my hair for a while.” She picked up her tool case. “Okay Tyler. Hopefully this one won’t take long.”
“I’ll be here” Tyler said.
Emmie walked quickly to warm herself up as she climbed the stairs to the management offices. As she carried her tool case and shook from the biting cold, though, she noticed something. It seemed as though the broken air conditioning was definitely making things heat up in the Miami-Dade Crime Lab. She walked past Trace as a young tech stood behind Natalia and rubbed her arms, making her smile. Emmie smiled as well. Even Horatio lovingly draped his jacket over his beloved Mirasol’s arms. Emmie could see her smile up at him gratefully. How sweet, she thought. Love was in the air, and it had a strange warming effect. Well, as usual, she would just have to exercise and work quickly to keep herself warm.
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Within fifteen minutes, Emmie had Rick’s computer straightened out. She had gone to the main menu and run the error control, just like she knew she had taught him to do. But since when had Rick fixed a computer problem without blowing up something else, she thought.
She smiled sadly as she watched out the window. There was nobody to keep her warm in here, she thought. She felt left out but shrugged it off. She was a professional, and she would tough it out like the fighting Marine she was.
Sure be nice if somebody wanted to keep me warm.
Just as Emmie shivered again and blew into her cupped hands, she was aware of a tall looming figure behind her. She never looked up.
“Okay, Sir, your computer’s fixed. Maybe they’ll fix the air conditioning soon, so I don’t have to come up and pick icicles off your monitor, too.
She looked up, and her eyes widened in shock.
Rick Stetler smiled down to her like a lovesick teenager, his jacket slung over his shoulder. "You look like you need to get warmed up, Emmie" he said.
Emmie stood up suddenly and feigned a smile. “Uh, Sir, I think I hear my phone ringing. Excuse me.”
Rick’s smile went away. “What! From here?”
“Uh, call it a sixth sense!”
He pointed to his desk. “I'll let you use mine!”
“Yours doesn’t work that well, Sir.”
Rick looked disappointed. “So fix it!”
She picked up her tool case and hurried out the door, leaving Rick standing. “I’m a computer tech, Sir! See you later!”
Downstairs Emmie joined Calleigh, Natalia and Marisol outside the front of the Miami-Dade Crime Lab, letting the sun permeate her cold skin. It felt good. Breathing a sigh of relief, she looked at the other ladies.
“You ladies didn't exactly make my day today” she muttered.
They all looked at her. “What are you talking about?” Calleigh wanted to know.
“Well, one thing I try to do is make evey day a learning experience. But there's one thing I don't want to know.”
“What’s that?” Natalia asked.
“HOW COME YOU GUYS GET ALL THE GOOD ONES?”
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ladytaz29
Rookie Officer
Caution..Must wear flame retardent materials..
Posts: 377
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Post by ladytaz29 on Feb 2, 2009 7:23:00 GMT -5
I came on here to TWIST and you beat me to it.. Good chapter JL..Rick is just too funny in these..
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Post by jaglady on Feb 2, 2009 12:58:05 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D Nah, I'm running out of Motrin. Don't worry, there will be more. Thanks, everybody.
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Post by ct150563 on Feb 2, 2009 16:23:34 GMT -5
0721hrs Hilarious as always JL
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Post by jaglady on Feb 2, 2009 18:06:36 GMT -5
Thanks, everybody.
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Post by jaglady on Feb 3, 2009 21:20:57 GMT -5
I figure I'd better put another one out there before LadyTaz ties me down and pelts me with a thousand nerf balls. ;D -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Devil is in the Details
"I've heard of downloading a virus, but gimme a break!"
“We’re looking for all forty-four calibers sold legitimately within the last six months in the Miami area” Calleigh instructed, leaning over Emmie’s shoulder as Emmie quickly typed in her clearance code and pulled up the necessary database. "Then we need to find who the registered owners are.”
Senior computer tech Emmalyn Stockburne was helping Calleigh untangle Miami’s latest murder when she noticed an acrid but familiar smell wafting through the computer lab’s ventilation system. She put her finger to her nose and turned to Calleigh. “You smell that, Calleigh?”
Calleigh stood up and sampled the air. “Yeah. Now that you mention it….”
After another whiff, Emmie tensed up. “Wait. Oh God. I know that smell.”
Her worst fears were confirmed. Within one second the fire alarm blared, piercing the air. Calleigh quickly walked out the door. “We’ll discuss this later. I hope it’s just a drill!”
Emmie bolted up from her chair. “Tyler, get the switch!” she shouted over the noise. Tyler stood up and dutifully shut off the main power switch to the lab before bolting out. Emmie grabbed her laptop and quickly glanced over the computer lab before closing the doors to the computer lab and joining the sea of labcoat-clad techs and CSI’s streaming out of the fire exits.
Outside, Emmie sat down on the grass looking around. It was normal to hear a fire truck screaming toward the lab during a routine fire drill, but this time she noticed several of them pulling up to the front.
“Emmie, did you say you knew that smell?” Calleigh asked her. “What’s going on?”
She shook her head. “That’s the smell a computer monitor makes when it blows up” she moaned. “I’ve handled a few of those in my day.”
The fire marshal and a horde of firefighters hurried into the front entrance. But when she saw the ambulance, Emmie walked around from a distance to get a closer look.
The doors were open on the back of the ambulance. In the back she saw a very wet, disoriented and quaking Rick Stetler sitting with an oxygen mask on his face and two medics attending to him. It looked like one medic was wrapping his left hand. It piqued her curiosity.
Eric was finishing up a conversation with Horatio. She walked toward him.
“Hi Eric. Any idea what’s going on?” Emmie asked, pointing to the ambulance.
Delko shook his head, grinning. “H told me something about Stetler screaming and punching his computer monitor and—“
She put up her hand. “Stop right there. I don’t want to hear it!”
Delko shrugged. “You said you wanted to know.”
Emmie sighed. “Not anymore I don’t.” -------------------------------------------------------------
Once the fire marshal had given the “all clear”, Emmie followed the sea of lab coats back into the crime lab and reopened the computer lab. The smell of amangled computer monitor now hung thickly in the air.
Horatio walked in. “Miss Stockburne. Sorry to interrupt your day.”
“Eric started to tell me what happened, Sir. Is it as bad as I thought?”
“Rick was treated and released. He had smoke inhalation and a cut-up hand. I told him to go home. This all happened when he started screaming and punched his computer monitor. Something about the devil in his computer.”
She sat back and shook her head. “Should I take a look?”
“Later. The fire marshal is still clearing Rick’s office. Just so you know, he managed to set the off the sprinklers in his office. I’m about ready to see that he get sent for a psych eval.”
“Way overdue, if you ask me, Sir.” -----------------------------------------------------------
The next day IAB sergeant Rick Stetler sat behind Emmie as she tapped into Rick’s network. “Now what exactly did you see, Sir?” she asked him.
Rick’s eyes grew wide as he spread his arms out. His left hand still sported bandages from his accident. “I swear to you, I had the devil on my computer screen. You don’t believe me, Miss Stockburne? Look for yourself!”
She shrugged. “I’m tapping into your network now, Sir.” I’ll put it on the overhead screen so you can tell me if that’s what you saw.”
He glared at her. “Go ahead. Make fun of me too, like everybody else around here!”
“Sir, I’m not making fun of anybody.” With her computer keys clicking, Emmie went into Rick’s email.
She stiffened up in surprise when a huge red and brown snarling beast with flaming nostrils, bloodshot eyes, and pointed teeth exploded on the overhead monitor and grumbled at her in a language she couldn’t understand.
Rick’s eyes widened as he shotup from his chair. “You see that? That’s it! Get rid of it!” He backed away, nearly tripping over Tyler’s empty chair.
Emmie sighed and closed her eyes. “Is this what caused you to have a stroke, Sir?” she wanted to know, pointing at the snarling red face.
Rick righted himself, never taking his eyes off the overhead monitor. “Yeah! Get it out of here!”
“Sir? Watch. Here’s how you do it.” Emmie held up her right hand. “See? Right hand. Place hand on the mouse. Move the mouse.” She executed those movements and slid her computer mouse side to side as she spoke. The growling, snarling speakers went silent, and her overhead monitor quickly reverted to the blue screen that Rick would have seen had he not destroyed his monitor.
Rick stared at the monitor dumbfounded. “What did you do?” he demanded.
“Sir? That’s a screensaver. THAT’S what caused you to trash your computer and your office. And by the way, where did you get that screensaver? Lieutenant Caine doesn’t even allow ME to have stuff like that in the system. How did you get a hold of it?”
Rick stood straight, trying to regain his high-and-mighty attitude. “Miss Stockburne, I have better things to do than to play games on a computer! Maybe you just need to do your job better and keep that stuff out!” he snarled.
“Never mind, Sir. I’ll answer my own question. Without a word she quickly dug through Rick’s emails from the last couple of days. One had a message that said I LOVE YOU! She noticed right away that it had an executable attachment, a sure sign that it might have been a virus.
Emmie folded her arms and looked at Rick. “Uh Sir, and I know I’ve talked about opening emails when you don’t know where they come from? I can only update the firewall once a week, and if that had been a virus, you can’t imagine what a disaster that would’ve been.”
Rick huffed and fingered his tie. “Well, they said they loved me. I don’t get too many of those. How was I supposed to know? Now when can you fix my monitor?”
“Probably when they fix your office, Sir.”
“That could take weeks!”
“Exactly. I need the break.”
Rick stormed out of the computer lab while Emmie busied herself clearing the file out of Rick’s in box. -----------------------------------------------------------
At the end of the day Emmie stepped outside and breathed in the warm evening air, relieved to be heading home. On her way to her car she almost bumped into Horatio. “Hey Sir.”
“Miss Stockburne. How did it go with Rick’s computer system?”
She shook her head and laughed. “Don’t worry Sir. I got the devil out of the computer network.”
Horatio turned around and donned his sunglasses. “Now if you could only do the same for Internal Affairs.”
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